Coming Out

TransParent is looking for the coming-out stories of trans people and their families. The stories should emphasize the role that parental support (or non-support) played in the journey of transitioning.
Parents of trans children are encouraged to submit their stories and trans people are also invited to submit the strategies or the titles of resources, such as literature, film, websites, etc., that they found useful in telling their coming-out stories to their families.

Submissions should be made to [email protected]. Writers may be as "out" as they please, from using pseudonyms to full disclosure of names, e-mail addresses, and so on.
Submissions should be between 300 and 400 words in length.

TransParent looks forward to hearing from you.

The following is Mona’s story.

My family has been “blazing trails” of being the parents of a transgender female-to-male child. Our second child, whom we’ve raised and loved as a daughter for 16 years, is now at the age of 20 living his life.

I have looked into the faces of the horrified, my own as well as the other members of my family. In the early stages of revelation we were very definite non-believers. We dug up and explored relentlessly ever action we had ever taken as parents. We believed and hoped that if we could figure out what we did wrong, with the grace of God we could get our daughter back.

For several years we prayed and begged and eventually lost all hope in our efforts of resurrecting our daughter’s spirit and giving her back her life. Our prayers were simply not being answered. Having lost all hope I was left with an emptiness that I was never quite sure that I would ever recover from. My physical heart ached for my child. Looking into the eyes of my child and seeing the same emptiness was erupting into total madness. It seemed as if we were completely abandoned by God, there was no mercy. The prayers went unanswered and the road grew darker than I could have ever imagined.

Two years ago we almost lost our child. I believe that the grief must have triggered my brain into comprehending something that I had read relating to prayers a little differently. I had read somewhere that the quickest prayer to receive a blessing was the prayer of a parent on behalf of his or her “child“. I fell into prayer but not for my daughter. I prayed for my child. It was at that very moment I realized that God was with me all along. God could not give me a daughter but he did in fact lead me to the truth. There are many things that make me wonder where I stand with God; my decision to love and honour my child is not one of them. Every time that I wrap my arms around my son’s body I am reminded of just how powerful God’s love is.

For all you TransParents out there, and I know there are plenty of you — be sure to love and support your child, and to J. Wiley, thanks for recognizing the need to hug someone’s child.

— Mona, Ontario